3 weeks. That's all we have. 3 weeks from today and Brian will be leaving for Academy. And he's gone for such a long time -- 4 months. 4 months is 1/3 of the year. It's his birthday, my birthday, Easter, Mothers Day, Fathers Day and the entire baseball season. It's 4 months of missed goodnight kisses for the kids. It's 4 months of lonliness for me.
Brian and I are such homebodies and we don't really have friends, except Bek and Jenn and their families, but we don't get to see each other often and they don't live nearby. I don't have anybody here in Scappoose that I hang out with. I don't have anyone here I'd even call up and talk to on the phone. I don't have anyone here to lean on when I get fed up and need a break for a while.
Brian and I have always relied on each other. We've always talked to each other. We've always done everything together, from grocery shopping to taking kids to practice to deciding what to eat for dinner. I'm going to miss that when he's gone.
I don't want to be a crybaby about it, really I don't. But it's going to be hard. I feel like I'm going to lose part of myself while he's gone, like a big chunk of my life is missing.
And while I'm trying to enjoy the 3 weeks he has left here, in the back of my head is this date looming over me -- the little black cloud ready to rain on my life.
2 comments:
I know how you are feeling, Annette. I'm sure it is even harder to be apart when it's more than just you and Brian being apart from each other but the whole family being separated.
Now you are at the dreaded part of counting down the days you have left until Brian leaves. Soon you will be able to start counting down the days you have left until he returns. At least for me, this has always been a big turning point because your focus shifts from how sad you will be when you are apart to how happy you will be once you are together again. You may not want to hear that now, but I have found it to be true. I was always sad the day Jim left, but I was happy to have something to look forward to instead of something to dread. It is also helpful to have other things to look forward to during the separation. Hopefully, you can plan some kind of fun or special activity at least once a month and have mini-milestones to mark the passing of time. You could have the kids help you start planning a celebration for the halfway point.
It will be hard not having anyone else around you that is experiencing the same thing that you can rely on for support or a much-needed break. I wish we were closer, but I hope you know that Jim and I are here for you. Call us anytime. I'm sure that you'll need some adult interaction! We can maybe set up some form of online chatting or instant messaging.
Enjoy these remaining weeks together!
I know what you mean about missing Brian. My DH is my best friend, too, and I don't really "hang out" with anyone else either. Hang in there, Annette! {{{HUGS}}}
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